I'm pretty sure that's about how many times I've started a post, and then deleted. I know, it sounds like another "so-sorry-I-haven't-blogged-in-a-while" type posts, but I think it's a symptom of another issue.
I don't know how to reach out.
Except for a few (good) close friends nearby, I don't know how to tell people about my daughter, her diagnosis, and my needs right now. Worse, I don't know how to talk about anything else. Small talk is excruciating. I really want -need- advice, support, opinions, and smiles, but I'm not one to draw attention to myself, I'm pretty private by nature, and I don't know how to tell people that what I'm really thinking about are autism and sensory processing disorders while they are talking about all of the rain we've had lately.
I want to be positive, and I don't know how to share the news and stay up while doing it. But I want people to know, and care, and listen. I'm needing that right now.
So, thanks for listening.