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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Take 1,312...

I'm pretty sure that's about how many times I've started a post, and then deleted. I know, it sounds like another "so-sorry-I-haven't-blogged-in-a-while" type posts, but I think it's a symptom of another issue.

I don't know how to reach out.

Except for a few (good) close friends nearby, I don't know how to tell people about my daughter, her diagnosis, and my needs right now. Worse, I don't know how to talk about anything else. Small talk is excruciating. I really want -need- advice, support, opinions, and smiles, but I'm not one to draw attention to myself, I'm pretty private by nature, and I don't know how to tell people that what I'm really thinking about are autism and sensory processing disorders while they are talking about all of the rain we've had lately.

I want to be positive, and I don't know how to share the news and stay up while doing it. But I want people to know, and care, and listen. I'm needing that right now.

So, thanks for listening.

5 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry! It's so hard in the beginning--a lot to take in. I was nauseous for a few months after my daughter received the diagnosis.

    One thing to prepare yourself for is that the services to help your child could take a while to get started. That was a surprise to me!

    The other thing that was a surprise--a very pleasant one--was what a difference these services make! My daughter started receiving services about 1.5 years ago, and I have a completely different kid now! The difference is enormous (please ignore my recent post on her latest tantrum--they're a rarity now!).

    If you have any questions, please email me!

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  2. I can only try to imagine what it must be like for you...........Take it one day at a time!.......

    I'm also torn inside and concerned about my nephew.......who will be 2 years in Sept. I have some concerns that something just isn't right, and there are many signs of autism that I am seeing. (I worked in a residential home full of children with autism years ago)....
    I'm not sure how to say something to my SIL, in spite of how close we are.....But yet, if there is something going on with him, I want them all to get the help they need......

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  3. We have friends who are going through the same thing. This is your blog, talk about what is on your mind. I think it will be real therapeutic for you and you will find a lot of supportive bloggers who are here to listen. And if you do not feel like blogging, that is fine too!

    I agree with Cheryl, the type of service you receive can make a world of a difference!

    hang in there!

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  4. Hi Sarah! I'm so glad that you're brave and strong enough to share your heart in this space.

    Small talk can be so rough, can't it? I hope and pray that you'll be surrounded by people on- and offline in the coming months that can give you the support, encouragement, and advice that you crave.

    {Hugs}

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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  5. This aches my heart. I'm sorry I'm just reaching out, but I'm here. My son had epilepsy and is now healed. I know it's not the same, but they do sometimes go hand in hand. I found so much support in online webgroups with parents just like me. I hope all is well. Please know I am thinking of you.

    Steph

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What's on your mind?